The veteran community should provide mutual support, encouragement, and protection.
Refrain from judging, shaming, or competing.
I am appalled by the notion of a veteran who regards themselves as superior due to their period of service. NEGATIVE! Veterans who served with dignity and respect are treated with the same respect by me. I refuse to drink the tainted water from the “I am better than you” well, and I do not pass judgment.
The Dangerous “Who Had It Worse?” Game: The Perilous “Who Had It Worse?” Game One of the most insidious traps in the veteran community is the oppression Olympics—the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) ranking of trauma and service. “You were never deployed? Try doing a real tour.” “You were REMF (Rear-echelon Motherf*cker?). You don’t know what real combat is.” “You got out after four years? You only saw a small part of it.
This gatekeeping is toxic.
It creates an invisible hierarchy of suffering where veterans feel they have to “qualify” their pain or their service to belong. If someone didn’t kick in doors, does that mean their struggles with transition, PTSD, or moral injury don’t matter? Of course not. Service is service. The uniform fit differently for all of us, but we all raised our right hands and signed a blank contract payable with our time, our mental health, and potentially our lives. The moment we start ranking who is “more of a veteran,” we start tearing down the very foundation of our community.
Combat or not, we are all vets, and we all face the same risk by serving.